Emotional readiness quiz

You may be feeling quite raw and that you haven’t yet been able to come to terms with the breakup. Some of the initial emotions such as shock, anger, denial, or a refusal to engage that come at the outset of a breakup are likely to be experienced just now. You are most likely to be thinking about your own pain and what went wrong. You feel guilty or you want to blame your ex for the situation you’re in. All these emotions are perfectly normal. It can take several weeks or even months to process the initial break-up – longer if its more of a shock or your partner initiated the break-up. If you are keen to move on or it’s been 3-6 months since the break-up you could consider some professional emotional support like a counsellor, coach, or therapist to help you come to terms with what’s happened. You or your ex may start the legal divorce now, but you may need more support or time to negotiate financial or children issues with success.

Your journey is probably characterised by good days and bad days. There are some aspects of the end of the relationship that you have come to terms with, but you may still have some lingering unhelpful emotions that make talking with your ex difficult. Certain issues may trigger more disharmony than others. You can probably start conversations with your ex and make some progress, but you may find they often spiral and you really need a third person in the room to hold some boundaries and help you get your point heard. Perhaps you are ready for a transactional (or polite) relationship with your ex but have some personal healing to do to improve your self-belief or be able to trust the other person to do the right thing. You can focus on the future but being amicable may be more of an aspiration right now, but that’s fine – we can help you turn your aspiration into reality. Our Divorce or Separation Specialist led services are designed to give support and help you manage the emotional journey as well as the legal and financial aspects of a separation.

You are likely to be feeling in a much better place. That’s not to say you don’t have off days… but overall, you can manage your emotions well, and calmly express your views about money, or finances, or children issues with your ex. You are likely to be focused on the future and if you have children, focused on what’s best for them. You’re probably feeling ready to explore what the future holds and may be keen to start talking to your ex different ways of coming to an agreement around the financial (and/or co-parenting) aspects of your separation. Check-in with your ex to see if they are in the same place. Sign up to our negotiation services to work with a Divorce or Separation Specialist to help you negotiate a fair agreement. Or use our more automated services if you have come to an agreement yourselves. You can add specialist time to do a fairness check or discuss your agreements. Use our diagnostic tool to find the right service.