"coparenting" posts

What to do when you become a stepparent

“The majority of stepparents, myself included, will tell you that they thought it would be so much easier to be a stepparent than it actually was.” We enter into the role naively thinking ‘how hard can it be?’. We love our partners and think the rest will follow. Sadly the reality is that it isn’t easy and we start doubting our ability to cope with the challenges of stepparenting. So how can you avoid the pitfalls and build a happy blended family together? Here are a few things that you should consider when you meet a new partner and one, or both of you, already have children.

Co-parenting at Christmas tips 2023

The Pause Button retrains our brain not to interrupt during a conversation. It encourages us to very deliberately pause for a few seconds and take a breath instead of cutting short our co-parent’s thoughts. We can find pausing difficult because we may not want to consider the needs of our co-parent. They might be inconvenient for us, but pausing allows us to fully focus on who we’re talking to and what they’re saying.

How can divorce impact children?

We’re bombarded with headlines about how bad divorce is for children. In reality, it’s ‘bad’ separations that can have a negative impact on children, due to two main culprits - parental absence and conflict. It’s not always possible to control these, however, if you’re able to, then this will help your children to cope with your separation. I n this blog, I’ll explore why parental absence and conflict are so damaging for children and the benefits of both parents continuing to see their children post-separation.

Parenting apart resources for LGBTQ+ parents and children

Our team of Divorce Specialists are experienced in working with all forms of diverse families in our co-parenting services and more widely in our divorce and separation services. It’s important for any child to have their identity celebrated in every way. For LGBTQ+ children or children with LGBTQ+ parents, there is an ever-growing pool of resources ranging from TV Series to books, blogs and podcasts. We have put together a small list of useful resources to get you started.

Finding your feet as a single parent with Zoë Desmond from Frolo

Advice from Frolo Founder, Zoë Desmond. When my son, Billy, turned one, my relationship with his dad broke down. It was a really tough time and I was taken aback by how lonely and isolated I felt. Weekends were hardest when the loneliness of being a single parent was compounded by seeing happy families in the playground, and feeling that I’d let myself and my son down.

Five things you didn’t know about co-parenting and one that you probably do

Let’s start with the one you probably do. Co-parenting might be the best thing you ever do for your children post-divorce. But it will also be the hardest. You may get used to it, but it probably won’t feel particularly easy. Time can be a great healer, and whilst you may be able to be around your ex and have a conversation with them, saying goodbye to your child won’t ever be a nice thing to do. Yes, you can have time on your own and do all the things you have on your bucket list (money dependent), but most likely, like the majority of parents, you didn’t sign up to have children part-time. Seeing them going off to their other parent hurts.

What is a co-parenting specialist and when might you need one?

A co-parenting specialist is usually a professional who is able to guide you through your transition from parents to co-parents following a separation or divorce. They can have a variety of backgrounds and there is no set pathway to this career. For example mediation, psychology or counselling. If you’ve recently separated and especially if you’ve been separated for a long time, then you will be well versed in the unique challenges that co-parenting can present to a couple.

amicable’s guide to children’s mental health and divorce

Divorce and separation is not only difficult for the couple, but also for their children as well. As with any loss (in this case, changes to the family unit), divorce and separation can impact children’s mental health. However, there are ways to help your children cope with this and of course, ways to spot early signs if they are not coping.

The amicable guide to nesting arrangements

If you’ve recently separated or divorced, you may have done some provisional research into the various co-parenting patterns people choose to adopt once they transition from parents to co-parents. You therefore may have come across the term ‘nesting’ and may be thinking ‘what is a nesting arrangement?’.

What is parallel parenting and how does it differ from co-parenting?

Parallel parenting is a unique arrangement that can be a consciously made decision or simply fallen into by circumstance. It is when two parents who are unable to communicate with each other in a respectful way can co-parent effectively by disengaging from one another and having very formal or limited contact.

My ex, their new partner and our kids – six tips for co-parenting when your ex has a new partner

As a single parent, I always knew that my ex would want to introduce his new partner to our children once we were divorced.  When it happened, I went through a rollercoaster of emotions and […]

amicable’s co-parenting Christmas checklist 2021

With only a month to go until Christmas Day, we’ve written our amicable co-parenting at Christmas checklist, to help keep things simple at one of the busiest and most emotive times of the year. We hope this checklist will help to avoid common co-parenting pitfalls and also help you to prepare emotionally and logistically for the day.

10 tips for co-parenting in separate countries

I co-parent my two boys, 17 and 11, with my ex-husband who lives in Europe. Predominately they live with me as they attend school in the UK. Our informal arrangement is that I have the boys during term time and my ex is responsible for school holiday time. Whilst my setup may be unique, I know that there are many of you, like me, who co-parent your children from separate countries.

Tips to help you co-parent your teenager

Divorce is challenging for all children regardless of their age however, it can be particularly challenging for teenagers. Teenagers are already going through an enormous period of change in their lives and having two parents who are at odds with one another can exacerbate this.

How to help younger children deal with separation

My ex and I separated when our baby boy was two. In the eighteen months that have passed since the day she moved out of the family home, we have worked hard to heal and grow, both as a family and as individuals. I am happy to report that our current set-up, as co-parents who live on adjacent streets and share the responsibility and cost for our child 50/50, works well.

The pros and cons of co-parenting around the corner

When my wife and I separated, we decided to remain living close to one another as we co-parented our two-year-old son. This, at least, was our mid-term interim solution – our plan for a couple of years before we could go ahead and dissolve our Civil Partnership and reach a financial settlement.

My ex is having a baby

My ex recently told me he was expecting a baby with his partner. I knew that it was likely to happen, it's been years since we separated and we've both moved on and have committed relationships with our partners so when I heard the news, I was surprised that it sparked a series of unexpected emotions.

What is the Parents Promise and why does amicable support it?

What is the #ParentsPromise and why does amicable support it?

Advice to help teens adjust to your divorce

Sue Atkins, internationally recognised Parenting Expert, discusses how the process of divorcing can vary depending on the age and personalities of your children. Read her helpful guide on…

5 tips to help you communicate with your co-parent after separating

Author of the breaking dad blog and Instagram page Daniel Betts, teaches you how to communicate better with your ex after parental separation.

Introducing the amicable co-parenting app

amicable just launched a brand new app to support couples with parenting after a divorce or separation.

How to co-parent this Christmas Guide

At a time when we are besieged with social media images of cosy families in matching Christmas PJs sitting around the tree, showing joy and togetherness you may well find yourselves navigating the difficult terrain of logistics, doubling up of presents, who gets to wake up with the kids or literally being alone for the first time this Christmas. Here are my tips on how to co-parent this Christmas.

Adjusting to life as a co-parent

The Frolo community is full of single parents who have been there, done that, and are happy to share their wisdom with other single parents. Here’s some of their best advice on adjusting to your new role as a co-parent.

Coronavirus (COVID-19) and It's Impact on Child Maintenance

Lots of you have been in touch asking about child maintenance payments during the COVID-19 lockdown. There's little official advice other than children under 18 should continue to see both parents and move between their two home to keep the status quo. But what happens to child maintenance payments if your situation changes?

Blended families – top tips to help yours work

Creating your blended family can be tricky and treacherous at the beginning, but if you persevere then it can bring so much reward. Here are some things that will help you reach stable ground.

amicable co-parenting tips: your child's education

School is a major part of your children’s lives and a central pillar providing structure and social support, as well as academic opportunity. When you and their other parent separate, school may become particularly essential as a source of continuity and stability for your children.

Living arrangements for children after divorce or separation

Living arrangements for your children when you divorce and separate is usually a main focus for parents, and quite rightly. If you're not sure where to start and you need some help, read this blog on living arrangements written by a co-parenting expert.

amicable's helpful guide to child maintenance

Read amicable's guide to child maintenance, written by co-parenting experts, if you're divorcing or separating from your ex.

Tips for co-parenting over the holidays

The long summer holidays are about to start in England & Wales. Even in an undivided family, holidays can cause headaches over juggling childcare, work, breaks to routine, trips away. When you are trying to organise a separated family’s holiday time, it can be stressful and emotions can run high. Here are my top 4 tips for successful co-parenting over the holidays.

Three tips for co-parenting at your child's birthday party

Organising a party for your children when you're separated or separating can be a tricky balancing act. Having just gone through a series of kids' parties with my own, I wanted to share my tips in the hope it helps co-parents out there who are struggling with party preparations.

Top tips for co-parenting after separation

“Co-parenting” describes a parenting relationship in which the child’s parents share responsibility for bringing up their child/children despite not being in a relationship with each other. It is often held up as the ideal way to parent children following a separation or divorce.

Introducing new partners to your ex partner after divorce or separation

Advice from co-parenting expert, Marcie Shaoul, on how to introduce new partners to your blended family after divorce / separation.

Divorced Dads: Tips on how to turn Father's Day inside out

Father's Day is supposed to be a holiday where Dads everywhere get celebrated by their nearest and dearest, where they get to kick back and get catered to, or at least left alone to enjoy one special day without too much pressure. But that's not easy for divorced Dads. Us divorced Dads still can and should make Father's Day into a heartfelt commemoration of fatherhood. And the best way to do that is, turn the holiday inside out. Don't worry about being celebrated. Instead, celebrate.

Lara's story: Five things I wish I knew before I got divorced

Divorce is such an alien experience. Our world is turned upside down and inside out, and we often find ourselves reacting to what is happening, rather than standing back and trying to rationalise and plan. Whilst everyone’s situation (financial and otherwise) and reasons for divorce vary widely, there are definitely things that are helpful to know in advance. Here are the things I wish I knew before I got divorced.

3 tips to help you communicate with your ex as you separate or divorce

Communication with your ex during a divorce or separation can be fraught and full of stress. When you are caught in a cycle of conflict, with hurt and fear in the mix, it can be all too easy for tempers to flare, for things to be said and done, and for the temperature of the discussion to rise very quickly. Here are three top tips for smoother communication with your ex.

Childcare arrangements after divorce & separation

Adjusting to your new family set up post-separation can be challenging. You may not get it right first time, and things will change with time, so what worked, in the beginning, may not be working for you now. All of this is normal. The key thing to remember when it comes to co-parenting after a divorce/separation is that your family is unique and nobody’s perfect. Don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on the bigger the picture; what can you realistically control and how can you create an environment where your kids can thrive?

Five books for co-parents after divorce or separation

Finding the right advice for you and your family can be a challenge, especially if you’re separating or separated. There are many books out there offering advice to parents who are going through a separation. It’s tough to know who you should listen to. This blog includes a selection of co-parenting books that have been recommend by amicable’s co-parenting experts and includes titles for parents and children.

How to handle Mothers’ Day as a single parent – top tips for Mums and Dads

It’s impossible to escape the media hype about Mothers’ Day, and when you’re separated and going through a divorce, it can be challenging to handle the emotions that you might find well up. All those sugary images of smiling, happy families are impossible to ignore, and I know it can really hurt if your children aren’t with you on the day. It can be easy to feel low or angry and lose yourself in thinking about the “what if’s”.

5 things your adult child wants you to know about how your divorce is affecting them

Divorcing couples with young children are inundated with advice on how to tell the children and how to act in their best interests, but there is very little advice or research out there to help you navigate talking to your adult children about your split. I’ve talked to grown-up children of divorced and divorcing parents and put together the top 5 things they want you to know about how your divorce is affecting them.

The New Routine – Establishing a Care Pattern that Works for all of you

Breaking up is hard to do. Even when it’s amicable. And when children are involved, it’s always harder. If you’re reading this you’re probably open to the idea that custody arrangements are changing and that there is a significant move away from the ‘mum get’s the kids and dad sees them every other weekend’ patterns of the last few decades. Believe me, that’s a good thing. It’s also tough. Tough to share your kids, but you know what, it’s tougher for them if they don’t see both parents. Read this blog for information on potential care patterns that may work for your family once you're divorced or separated.

Juggling the holidays after divorce - A child’s point of view

Here are some thoughts from a child of divorce, on how to help your kids juggle the holidays with their divorced parents.

Five tips for co-parenting over Christmas

Marcie Shaoul shares her expertise on navigating the festive season with your co-parent.

#childrenfirst – more tips for an amicable divorce

Most people say when asked, putting children first is fundamental to good parenting. But what happens if as separating parents you have different ideas about putting your children first? How can you know what your […]

3 Tips for the Festive Season

Christmas can be a tough time of year if you’ve recently separated. If you’ve been together for years and this is your first Christmas, it’s pretty hard to imagine how difficult it can be, especially […]

A guide to parenting plans for co-parents

If you’re divorcing with kids, prioritizing their needs during your divorce will help them thrive in the future. A good way to minimise the impact on children is to create a parenting plan. A parenting […]

How to tell your kids you’re getting divorced

There are always good ways of giving upsetting news. Preparation on the part of us parents makes things easier for our kids and starts our co-parenting relationship off on the right foot. For anyone with […]

5 Tips for separated parents - Father's Day

Father’s Day, or any commemorative day for that matter, can feel especially tricky when you’re in the process of separating or divorcing. Some simple ideas, and ‘tricks of the separated parents trade’, however, can help […]

Guest blogger Alexa’s thoughts on co-parenting with the worst kind of ex: The narcissist

At amicable, our mission is help separating parents divorce with minimal conflict and work together for the sake of their co-parenting relationship or sanity (or both!)… but sometimes that’s just not possible. Our guest blogger Alexa shares her thoughts […]

Summer survival guide for separated parents

It’s that time of year when, if you’re separated parents, you have shared summer holidays looming. For any parent, the long holiday requires some careful thought and preparation, but for separated and often working parents, […]

Brangelina’s or Ballboyslim’s kids?

Two celebrity couples. Two high profile divorces. Two lots of kids. That’s just about where the similarities end. As far as divorces go you couldn’t get two more different approaches to untying the knot with […]

Christmas, divorce and separated co-parenting

Welcome to the amicable guide to Christmas, divorce and separated parenting. If it’s your first Christmas as separated parents or even the first time you’ll be without the kids  – don’t worry – our guide […]

Guide to minimising divorce effects on children

* Co-founder of amicable, Kate Daly, shares her tips for minimising divorce effects on children. Learning from my mistakes I divorced six years ago. I knew it would be tough. But I wasn’t prepared for was the […]

Mother’s Day as a single parent

Mother’s Day as a single parent, or any celebration day for that matter, can feel especially tricky when you’re separating or divorcing. Our tips for Mother’s Day will smooth the way and help you celebrate. […]

Divorce and how to make the most out of father's day

If you are a Dad going through divorce or separation this Father’s Day, the day can feel bittersweet depending on your situation. This blog looks at how to make the most of Father’s Day when […]

Divorcing with kids – The amicable guide

If you’re divorcing with kids, prioritizing their needs during your divorce will help them thrive in the future. A good way to minimise the impact on children is to create a parenting plan. A parenting […]

How to avoid the airport delay for parents with different surnames to their kids

It’s amazing to think that in 2017, mums and dads are being stopped at airports because their children have a different surname to them. But, it’s still happening at great stress to parents, kids, and […]

amicable’s co-parenting guide for christmas

Is this your first Christmas as a separated parent? Not sure what to expect or how to handle your new family set-up. This blog offers pragmatic advice to help you keep your Co-Parenting Christmas, merry. […]

5 tips for navigating Mother’s Day after divorce

‘Family’ days like Mother’s Day after divorce or during the divorce journey can be difficult to navigate. A positive mindset and these amicable tips will help you to make the most out of the day […]

Making ‘handovers’ a more pleasant experience for you and your child

All too often we hear about separated parents arranging to meet at petrol stations or train stations for ‘handovers’, which sounds very bleak and perfunctory for children. Here are some tips to help you make […]